Heart Stops

Sometimes my heart breaks
for no reason other than
it doesn't know what else
to do with itself, it
spends so much time alone
with itself, it
drives itself crazy with
longing for something
that nobody wants to give it.

And sometimes my heart falls
to pieces and I just keep
handing out those pieces
to whoever makes eye contact,
like the religious zealot on
the corner handing out his magazine,
trying to save you,
and everyone drops their gaze
and nobody opens their hands
to save me.

Sometimes my heart stops.

Broken Glass

It's the quiet in the middle of the night
that ruins me every time.
It's the way you appear with no warning
that stabs me like so many knives.

It's the way I can't (won't) let go of you
that drags me deeper down.
It's the way you can't (don't) let yourself love me
that leaves me face down on the ground.

It's you,
in every way,
that has left me
here like this.

And you
don't get to turn away;
I want you to see,
this is your mess.

Halifax

Every square inch
of this fucking town
has a memory attached to it.
And they all lead back to you and you
don't even realize how deeply embedded
in my head you are.
In my heart, you are
picking away at the plaster
I used to piece it back together
last time it broke.
You shatter me.

Yours

I am yours,
and that's the problem,
isn't it? That there
is no chase, no thrill,
nothing to question or
challenge your aliveness,
your worth.
You are good enough for me,
and that's not good enough for you.

Xanthippe

This is who I am.
A quarrelsome woman.
A nagging woman.

This is me,
never being able to say sorry
enough to fix
what I have done
to you.

I am Xanthippe,
and I am sorry,
and I am heartbroken,
and I am lost.

I am without you,
by no one's fault
but my own.