Money Back Guarantee

This isn't the life I ordered.
"Item not exactly as shown":
what an understatement.

If I send this back,
do I still have to pay the shipping?
I'm pretty sure the mistake was
on the warehouse's end; not mine.

This isn't the life I ordered:
I ordered the large.
I got the small.

I'm twenty-six years old.
My friends are getting married,
buying houses.
I have a "complicated entanglement'
and roommates.

This isn't the life I ordered.
I wanted the vibrant rainbow,
but you sent me the earth tones.

I make an hourly wage
that barely feeds my cats.
I haven't done laundry in a month,
but I guess this shirt smells clean enough.

This isn't the life I ordered.
I asked for the portable version,
and you gave me the stationary model.

I can't get out of the city
to clear my head
as my mode of transportation
is a second-hand bike whose brakes
don't work when they're wet.

This isn't the life I ordered.
I wanted the compatible extension,
but I received the individual model.

I fantasize about someday
loving someone
who loves me back.

This isn't the life I ordered.
I want my money back.