Anyway

I avoid mirrors
I dare not look my sad self
in the eyes,
for I am not what I've claimed to be:
I am made up of lies.

(Save one.

My love for you
is my only truth.)

What would the woman
I make myself out to be
think of the woman
that's actually me?

I am weak.
Powerless.
Without a sense of self preservation
I love you to the point of my own damnation.

I continue to love you
as you chisel away at my heart,
burying the shards beneath your skin.
I watch as you fill yourself
with my love, but like some
black hole, you do not reflect it back.
I disappear.

I betray my own self
with every day that I continue to
offer my heart to you,
my soul prostrate before you,
with every moment that I beg
for what should be given freely.

I love you beyond what is sane,
but even knowing that I cannot turn away.
My heart is yours to do with what you may,
and to this end, I've accepted my fate.

I am yours, I have given you everything.
And so I lay naked at your feet,
waiting for you to deign to accept me.
knowing you never will.
still loving you anyway.